A Happy Marriage.

I know I've only been married for a little over three years, but I'd like to think I have some idea of what makes a happy, healthy marriage. Through watching married couples good and bad examples' (including my own!), I have noticed three things that happy couples do.

Do you notice that all of these things take effort?

Spending time together

I don't care what you do, but do something together every single day. Snuggle on the couch, have late night chats, date each other, or our personal favorite... go on a walk every night (rain or shine people!) Landon and I were talking the other day about how maybe our marriage wouldn't be as strong without our nightly walks. It is a time for us, free from distractions, to simply talk and spend time with each other. Walking is our favorite. But it's also fun to start a hobby together. Last year we spent a lot of time flying and riding our new bikes and this year we are getting into sailing. Travel, explore, laugh, enjoy each other's company! Happily married couples are best friends. Time=love, right?

Sacrifice for each other

Some days I get home from work and I am SO tired. But, I forget myself and remember that if I put Landon first, our marriage will be strong. So, I set to work on cleaning our house and making him dinner (okay that's a lie, sometimes I take a nap or read my book instead of being a good wife. But I'm working on it!) When he comes home, we eat and then I realize we're out of milk. Landon has about a million things he needs to get done that night... but what does he do? He goes to the grocery store with me. He takes care of me and I take care of him. Work. Effort. Sacrifice. Selflessness. It's hard not to love someone that you're serving.

Happiness in marriage is a choice

I am a firm believer in this last one. I know that I could hold a grudge against Landon for that thing he said that one day that I took offense to. Or he could hold a grudge against me for all the times I've been grumpy and mean to him. We could develop deep feelings of hurt and resentment. Or... we could choose to forgive each other. We could choose to love each other. President Monson said it best... "choose your love, love your choice." When you chose to marry your spouse, you were probably madly and deeply in love with them. That love should just continue to grow and grow. You can be newlyweds all your life if you CHOOSE to be.

My marriage is by no means perfect. But we are happy. We are madly in love. It's so funny to look back on the way I felt for Landon when I was kneeling across the alter... I can't believe how little that love is compared to the deep love I feel for him now.

I'm so grateful for all this time we have with just us. I feel like our marriage grows stronger every day and I know we will be better parents for it. When kids come along, I know things will be different, but we have made the conscious decision to not let kids come between our marriage. So many people devote their whole lives to their kids and put their spouse on the back burner. After 25 years, their husband is a stranger. When the kids are gone they realize they don't have anything holding them together. But that's not how it has to be. We can still put our spouse first, while loving our kids like crazy. I do believe you have to DECIDE this. Being a mom is my biggest dream, and I know it would be so easy for me to slowly but surely let my marriage fall apart if I put ALL of my energy into being a mom and not take the time to be a wife. My parents are such a good example to me. Nine kids later and they are still madly in love. They hold hands, they spend their free time together, they are always going on weekend getaways together. They're such cuties.

Staying happy in marriage takes effort every day. Think of your marriage like a little love fern (haha name that movie!) it takes constant nourishment or it will die. For real.