Pretty.

It started at the age of 14. I would NOT leave the house without my makeup on and my hair done. Like I wouldn't be caught dead, even just running to the store for a second. I had a major problem of sleeping through my alarm and for most people that would mean throwing your hair up in a bun and maybe putting on some mascara right? Nope, I had to do my entire "beauty routine" at warp speed to make it to school on time.

me during the lovely, awkward middle school age

The obsession with my beauty routine completely, 100% stemmed from my lack of self-worth. I wasn't pretty so I had to try and make myself at least look a little better.

This insecurity carried with me through high school and college. If I receieved compliments from boys I didn't believe them. They were only calling me pretty because they knew that's what I wanted to hear. In college when most people were rolling out of bed in their sweats for a 7 a.m. class, I was all dolled up and exhausted from being up since 6 a.m. to get ready. It was ridiculous.

freshman year, first time dying my hair brown.

Enter Landon. I have never met a more honest person in my life. If he has a problem with you, you'll know about it :) he just speaks his mind and says things exactly as they are. No sugar coating for this guy. So when he told me I was beautiful, I knew he really meant it. He didn't say silly things like, "you are the most beautiful girl in the world." Like really, that's "sweet" and all but obviously it's not true. When boys would say that to me in the past, it just showed me they weren't being honest and obviously didn't think I was pretty at all. Maybe some girls like to hear that, but I would rather receive sincere compliments.

It has been almost four years that I have been with Landon and little by little I have started to shed my insecurities and really believe him when he says I'm pretty.

It first started out when I stopped dying my hair. Since I was TEN I have been highlighting my hair blonde because I thought my hair was "mousy." Well, it turns out my hair is just brown. And I can honestly say I like my hair. I've never been able to say that before! It's all because of Landon. Every time I suggested to him that I wanted to dye my gross hair, he would look at me and say your hair is beautiful. I love the color of your hair. I like you just the way you are, you don't need to change. I haven't dyed my hair in over three years!

see my hair is just brown!

Well, after 9 years of putting makeup on my face EVERY day and straightening my hair EVERY day, do you guys want to hear what my beauty routine is now?

Monday-Friday:  At first, I stopped doing my hair and throwing it up in a pony but still wore all my makeup, then I stopped wearing all of my powder and blush, and then I stopped with everything. I just throw my hair in a pony tail-without straightening it (gasp!!!!) and I occasionally wear some mascara.**Side note, the first day I wore absolutely no makeup all day long, I said to Landon, " I can't believe I'm not wearing makeup today." His reply? Oh, I didn't even notice (and he's not just saying that you guys!)**

Saturday-Sunday: the only days I actually get ready. Straighten my hair, powder, blush, eye liner, and mascara. And that's it!

I am definitely nowhere NEAR confident in myself, but I'm making some real improvements. Landon always asks me if I feel pretty. I used to say, well I don't think I'm deformed or anything... Then it was, well I'm not ugly.... Then my answer was I'm pretty average... And now some days I even say I feel pretty.

Sometimes I see girls, even with kids, at the mall looking like they just stepped out of a magazine and I start to feel frumpy dumpy. But we can't compare ourselves to others. And the thing is, Landon will look me in the eyes, with crazy bed hair and my Mickey tshirt and pjs, and tell me I'm beautiful. And that's really all that matters.

This is how I look today. Sloppy ponytail, not a stitch of makeup, and going off five hours of sleep... this is me. This is really me.



When I met Landon I had NO idea how much I needed him. How much he would complete me and make me SO much better. This is just one example of many about how Landon helps me to be better. He's my rock. I'm the luckiest girl in the world.