An Open Heart

**Disclaimer: this is going to be a long one. Very personal, and from my heart. My blog has kinda become the substitute for my journal so just keep that in mind before going on to read this**

I have to thank my parents for the way they are and the way they raised me--it is the reason I am me. I can't say I've always been this way, but I am very very grateful to my parents for helping me become an open minded person--accepting, loving, and non-judgmental.


I am in a multi-cultural education class at BYU and we are learning all about how much we need tolerance and love when we are teaching children from different backgrounds. But somehow, we always get back to the gospel. Today we got into a discussion on how some LDS people are very judgmental of guys who do not serve full-time missions. There is so much pressure on these boys to go out and serve that half the time they aren't even serving with their heart, but just serving because if they don't they will be dis-owned, or they won't get their college paid for, etc. In my young women classes, I had at least 10 lessons about discussing what we need to look for in a husband and always at the top of the list was Returned Missionary.


I guess I never questioned that. I was going to marry a returned missionary, no matter what! I wouldn't settle for anything less. But a few years ago, it dawned on me that I really didn't care if my husband was a returned missionary or not. Don't get me wrong, missions are WONDERFUL and the church needs good, strong missionaries, BUT I don't think that you have to serve a mission to be considered a worthy and capable husband. I changed my priorities and decided that yes, a mission would be nice, but it was not NECESSARY. What was necessary was someone who had a strong testimony, was a good person, loves his family, treats me with respect, and someone that makes me laugh even when I am about to cry.


Well I am so unbelievably and eternally grateful for my change of heart that day because I found someone who is seriously the most loving person I have ever met, he has the biggest heart and loves SO deeply that it is unreal! I am honestly the luckiest girl in the world. He is going to make SUCH a great daddy and he already is the best husband. I couldn't have dreamed up something better! He always treats me with respect, he loves his family and my family, and family is his NUMBER ONE priority. I think it is hard to find guys like that out there! He is truly a family man and I am grateful! He is a hardworker and seriously a GENIUS. He has so many goals and is never ever lazy! He always always always makes me laugh. And on top of all this, he has a deep and strong testimony of this gospel.

So, you may not know this about my Landon Dean, but he only served his mission for five months. Not because he broke any rules, but because it wasn't for him. He fully intended on serving a full mission. He saved up for it with his own money and planned for it. But he had a very hard time on his mission and he just knew it wasn't right for him. It took courage for him to come home and face all the judgments and I truly admire him for it. (I would go into all the details, but I don't want to embarass the poor kid).

Anyway, as I was sitting in class today as we were having this discussion, my eyes just began to water. It hit me that if I never would have became an open minded person, I wouldn't have my Landon! That thought just overwhelmed me and literally broke my heart. I can't imagine not having him in my life. I still remember the moment PERFECTLY when Landon told me that he didn't serve a full-time mission. He was so quiet and so nervous and I could tell he was just so terrified to see how I would react. Oh, his face...It kills me to think of how sad he was! How scared he was that I wouldn't like him anymore. He is such a sweetheart and of course I was more concerned and felt sorry for what he had to go through and LUCKILY I did not hold it against him in ANY WAY. In fact, it just made me love him more.

So there you have it. By opening my heart, I received a huge blessing. It really makes me wonder what other opportunities I may have missed by not having an open mind. A person that could have been my best friend? Or just someone I wouldn't dare talk to that could've taught me a lot? I truly want to become more and more open and loving to everyone because who knows what else I could be missing. All I know is that I'm glad I have my Landon. Thanks mom and dad for teaching me to LOVE and not JUDGE.