Monday, June 25, 2012

Dear Future Children,

Dear Future Children,

Did you know I have been writing you letters, well since I can remember really? I just want you to know me as I am right NOW. So that one day, when you're my age you will be able to relate to me and realize I have been in your shoes. I'm not just some old, boring mom (well, hopefully I'm never that! Well old, maybe... boring, never!). It's funny to read back on some of the letters I wrote to you when I was little. In one of them I even drew a picture of myself (and enclosed a real picture) so you could see what I looked like when I was 10.

Most of the letters aren't as embarrassing...

June 3, 2003 (Sunday)

"Hi! How are you? I am Hannah, your mom when I am fourteen. I just want to let you know that I am a kid that gets into trouble, just like you probably will. I want you to always put Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ before everything else you do. He loves you and cares for you, just as much as I do (even though I don't know you right now."

Then right next to this sweet letter, two years later your mom wrote

"Holy cheesyness! Sorry for that, I was young! I mean that's weird, writing to your kids! What if I don't even  have kids! (even though I want kids.)"

A few lines down on the side of my journal it says "I <3 shopping! I <3 clothes! I <3 make-up I <3 boys!" HAHA! See I was a teenager, just like YOU! Bratty, boy crazy, and just kind of silly.

July 26, 2001

"Hello! This is me, your mom! Right now I am twelve. I hope that I am a good mom to you guys! Well I am just going to tell you a little bit about me. I love Shirley Temple! I love Ms. Congeniality and A Knights Tale! Fave color-pink. Fave book-Harry Potter. I collect TY beanie babies. I love to shop for clothes, shoes, make up, accessories, etc. I love elephants. My room is normally clean but for the past two months, it has been a disaster!! I am a very picky eater! Well I don't know what else that I can say about myself... oh yeah I <3 KIDS! I want to be a second grade teacher. (Or an actress! hopefully!) Well bye! I <3 U! (I named you already so bye.... Madison or Abbie or Kirsten or Kelsey or Ashley or Kayla or Brian or Josh or Jacob or Cameron. Love, your pre-teen mother Hannah. P.S. I have been in my PJ's all DAY!! (I normally do!)"

I even wrote a letter to you last summer telling you all about your dad.

I am so happy that I have always written you letters because you will really know who I am, who I've been, and can relate to me. I have always journal-ed and blogged because I want you to know me. I want you to see who I am. And as you can see, I have always dreamed of being your mother. I don't even know you yet, but I already feel such love for you. My whole life all I ever wanted to be was a wife and a mother (and an actress! haha!) Right now, I am focusing all of my energy on being a good wife to your dad. I try and show my love for him every day and put his needs before my own. We are building a strong foundation. And trust me, our love for each other grows more and more each day. We know that the best thing we can do for you is to love each other. Some days, I just want you here right NOW. I want to hold you and rock you to sleep and kiss your chubby cheeks. But then I remember that this is a special time that I have with just me and your dad.

If I have learned one thing lately, it is that life is all about enjoying the moment. Whatever stage you are in, just enjoy it and love it. For some reason we are always wishing and waiting and wanting for more instead of looking around and seeing how wonderful life is right now. So even though I can't WAIT to be your mother, I really can wait. I can soak in every moment I have of getting to sleep in, travelling with your dad, focusing on myself and becoming a better person every day.

In my other letters I always did a little mini-bio to tell you about myself at this age... so here goes :)

  • I still love the color pink, anything sparkly, and most chick flicks. Oh and I still love shopping and clothes, and boys.. well just this one really cute boy.
  • I am working on being a homemaker. I am trying to learn how to cook and sew and clean. Trying is the key word. Maybe by the time you know me I will be a pro...Martha Stewart even.
  • I'm a nanny to 2 cute kids. I love it because it's great practice for being a stay-at home mom one day. I couldn't find a teaching job in Oregon, but it's okay. I think being a nanny is better anyway :)
  • I have long brown hair, and still have brown eyes. I'm 5'4 (I grew an inch after high school!) and my hair has really darkened up from when I was little. 
  • I am absolutely crazy in love with your dad. It's actually kind of pathetic and my blog is a little mushy because of it. I can't help it. He's the coolest person I know... but I try not to tell him that too often because his ego definitely doesn't need stroking.
  • I try to make the choice to be happy every single day. I love deeply. I'm a little bit clingy and cheesy. I love dancing around and singing at the top of my lungs as I clean the house. I'm a huge klutz and sometimes I'm a little spacey. I also get anxiety over dumb little things and hate being away from your dad, even for a day. 
I'm waiting patiently for the day that I get to meet you, but for now I am going to take advantage of the life and the blessings I have been given right now. Heavenly Father really has given me so much and I want to be grateful for all that I have instead of wishing for more. I remind myself every day that having faith in God is also having faith in His timing. I want you to know I will always be there for you and will always love you no matter what.


Hannah, your mother at 23 

Saturday, June 23, 2012

the REAL happiest place on earth

Landon likes to tell me that I am full of "mushy stuff." I can't help it, it's just who I am. A hopeless romantic. A chick flick watching, romance novel reading, happy ending-addict of a girl. Oh and don't even get me started on how much I love to cuddle!

But I never knew my life could be better than any chick flick I've ever seen or romance novel I've ever read. Most days are just plain ordinary, but they are filled with moments of pure joy. Moments that make me feel so happy that I seriously feel like I'm going to burst. Moments that make me cry happy tears, and I've never cried happy tears until I met Landon. 

My life is far from perfect. My marriage is far from perfect. But, it's real. Real life is full of hard times and also great times. I choose to focus on those moments that make me burst into tears of joy. It's never anything spectacular or out of the ordinary... it could be a simple hug, or just waking up next to Landon, a little love note on a post-it, a tickle fight.... It really is the simple things in life that bring the most joy. 

It's true. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. So happy to be home with my love. Being with him is the REAL happiest place on earth. It doesn't even compare to Disney World, or Hawaii or Europe or anywhere else in the world. There's nowhere I'd rather be, nothing I'd rather be doing than being home with my Landon.

Life is good, and it just keeps getting better and better! 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Happiest Place on Earth

I am having a blast in Orlando with my "other family" as Landon likes to call them.

Corey and Allie have been spoiling me like crazy and it honestly feels more like I'm on vacation than actually working. They keep teasing me because I think I'm more excited to be at Disney World than the kids are. Corey asked me if I was tearing up when we saw the castle... maybe a little bit ;) They found out that my favorite princess is Aurora so of course they made me try on the kids size XL dress and almost made me wear it to dinner tonight with the princesses... Oh boy!!!

So far we have: been to Magic Kingdom, Animal Kingdom, and Hollywood Studios, eaten out every night, played at the resort's water park, and I have even been able to relax a ton because I stay home with little boy while he naps... or sleeps in until 4 pm like he did today.

If I didn't have my sweet Landon waiting back home for me, I would be in absolute NO hurry to get home! I've been really brave and have only cried almost every night a few times. Absence makes the heart grow fonder right? Can't wait to see my sweet boy!!!! 

Thursday, June 14, 2012


Goodbye phone... that I dropped in the bathtub today at work. Good thing it was a "dumb" phone and a replacement phone only cost 25 bucks!

Goodbye Facebook... I am really sick of you and deleted you today. Too much wasted time. Too much crap. I always kept it because it was my way to "keep in touch" with people, but everyone I want to keep in touch with has my phone number :)

Goodbye health... I took you for granted. I haven't been sick for a long time. Praying this cold goes away soon.

Goodbye Landon & Oregon... I'm off to Orlando tomorrow for 7 days. I know most people would be rejoicing, but I am very very very a little bit sad. I'm just such a wimp and hate being without Landon. But I'll be at the pool and Disney World so I really should not be complaining!

Ta-ta for now!

Sunday, June 10, 2012


On Saturday we decided to go exploring downtown. I love Portland. 

We rode The Max so we didn't have to worry about parking. The Max is like Utah's Trax...but don't call it Trax, people will give you funny looks.

Portland has it's annual Rose Festival going on now, but we didn't want to spend 100 bucks so we just walked along the river and tried to sneak peaks at the fair. 

We got to see some floats from the parade and also some Navy boats for "Fleet Week." Landon was a little bummed because there was only ONE sailboat. I think the guy was impressed with all of Landon's questions like, "What is the draft on this?" and "Is it a ketch?" Don't ask me what either of those things mean. It totally threw the Navy guy off guard... getting to answer some legit sailboat questions! 

We walked along the river, crossed the steel bridge, and walked along the other side of the river. Okay I wish I could have gotten a picture of this... but you'll just have to believe me. As we were walking, we saw a group of people drawing with sidewalk chalk and they had a sign that said "Moms for Marijuana." Oh my gosh. That's Portland for ya!

I <3 Elephants 

Portland is a pretty cool city. We love living here!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Biker Chick

So... I'm considering getting this:

I think my mom probably just passed out and most of you are probably thinking "Hannah is the last person on earth that would own and ride a motorcycle!" ...right? Well, I thought so too.

But picture this... the above bike with hot pink decal and me with a black and pink helmet/jacket... now that's starting to look a little more like Hannah right?

Our neighbors and good friends, Forrest and Grace both ride bikes and of course Landon has his bike too. So lately we have all been taking the bikes out and going for a ride. It is so fun! I love feeling like a part of a motorcycle gang! Well, they have all been trying to convince me to get my own bike so that I don't have to ride on the back anymore.

Ahhhhh! Part of me thinks it would be so fun and I just love the thought of having a hot pink bike and riding around with Landon. We would look so good! But the other part of me is scared out of my mind! So I think for now I will at least take the classes and see how comfortable I feel and if I even like it... And hey I guess you never know! Maybe I will be a natural... born to be wild!! ;)

Monday, June 4, 2012


My birthday weekend was perfect. Simply perfect. I am so lame and didn't really take any pictures to document. But it truly was one of my best birthdays yet. I'm one lucky lady.

I was planning on working on my birthday, like any grown-up would do. But secretly I was bummed. I have always been kind of a fanatic about birthdays, including my own... and the thought of waking up early and driving to work on my special day made me a little sad. But my boss found out it was my birthday and gave me the day off...PAID! Best birthday present EVER. On top of that, they gave me a rather large gift certificate to a very fancy steakhouse in downtown Portland. Like I said, I'm very lucky.

So Friday morning we were able to wake up together, snuggle a bit, eat breakfast, and then I sent him off to work. This was priceless to me. I never really get to see Landon in the morning so just getting to wake up with him made my whole day!

Anyway, the rest of the day was spent relaxing, watching a chick flick, going to the mall for a little shopping at my favorite store, picking up lunch (I have been craving a cheese burger like it is nobody's business) and eating it with Landon at his work.

After he got off work, we headed to Seussical the Musical performed by the local elementary. Two of our little neighbor girls were in the play and invited us to come. It was SOOO cute. I think Landon almost died, but I was just in heaven. The kids were adorable.

After the play, our friends Grace and Forrest took us out to dinner at Billygans Roadhouse. Yum!

The rest of the weekend the birthday celebration continued. Breakfast at Twin Oaks Airport with Forrest and Grace followed by a half-day motorcycle ride (I felt like we were in a biker's gang... but I'll have more about that in a whole 'nother post.), lunch on the dock of the Wilamette River, dinner at the fancy steakhouse with our gift card (I felt like a princess. I have never felt more fancy in my life), walking along the boardwalk along the river in downtown Portland after our fancy schmancy dinner, movie night with friends (This Means War... hilarious!), and overall just being spoiled by my husband all weekend. He did such a great job at making me feel so special and loved!


Oh, and I almost forgot... Landon got me a new LAPTOP for my present! Ahhh! I desperately need one. My little net-book I currently use is broken and it makes it really hard to blog. I guess I won't have anymore excuses for my lack of blogging :)

I was one spoiled birthday girl! Thanks everyone for the calls/text/FB posts. I feel so very loved!!! Here's to 23!
Lovely. The only documentation of my birthday. 

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Winner Winner

This is a day that will go down in history. Today I beat Landon in chess. My throat is a little sore from all the whooping, hollering, squealing, and screeching. But I just had to blog about this because I don't want to forget this day... and I don't want Landon to forget either ;)

I was down on pieces and tired and just about ready to give up... but then I saw it. An opportunity to put Landon in check mate with my queen and my bishop. He didn't even see it coming. Seeing "white wins!" on the screen (we play on the Ipad) was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I immediately jumped out of bed and started dancing and doing victory laps around the room. I wasn't even trying to rub it in, I was just so overjoyed I couldn't contain myself!

This is where it gets funny... so I ran back to the bed and said "oh my gosh, I need to take a screen shot of this so I can remember forever!" Why did I have to say that?! Of course we fight over the Ipad for a few minutes until Landon was able to start a new game, deleting the old one. So then I said "oh well, I will just blog about it and explain everything that happened." So I hop on my computer, type and for some reason my internet isn't working... Guess who turned off the internet connection on my laptop? Yep... you guessed it! Little stinker! By now I should have learned to keep my mouth shut, or at least be a little more sneaky. So I reach for my phone to go call Landon's mom so that I can at least tell one person and maybe she can spread the news. Well of course he tackles me to the floor and we are wrestling over the phone for a few minutes but I just keep screaming "I BEAT LANDON AT CHESS! I BEAT LANDON AT CHESS!" hoping she would be able to hear me. No such luck. So then he hides my phone, of course. So this time I sneakily grab his phone, hold down "3" which dials his mom, and just keep my cool. Somehow he heard the phone ringing... cue wrestling, fighting over the phone, more screaming, and another phone hidden.

It was quite the eventful morning and neither of us could stop laughing. Did you know that I secretly love being teased? Shhh... don't tell Landon! ;)

I'm so lucky I married my best friend and that we spend most of our time together laughing and being silly. I never want to forget moments like these. Life is good.

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