Thursday, December 1, 2016


I haven't written a blog, just to blog in a LONG time. Ever since becoming pregnant with Charlie and having Charlie, he's taken over my blog just a little bit... woops! He really is our whole world and means more to us than I ever even knew was possible, so it kind of makes sense that he's taken over our life and our blog. :)

But there have been some things going on that I do want to document that aren't necessarily "Charlie" updates, so here we go:

-I mentioned briefly that Landon was in a motorcycle accident on Charlie's one month birthday, but I never wrote about all the details.

I got a call around 5:15 pm from Landon. Before I picked up the phone, I figured Landon was calling to tell me he was just leaving work and would be home a little late. When I answered, Landon very calmly told me he had been hit on his motorcycle and that he was around the corner from our house and that he had to get off the phone. I hung up, a little confused. Then I started to panic... what did he mean he was hit on his motorcycle?!?! There's no such thing as a "little fender bender" when you're on a bike... I didn't even ask any questions, because I was just kind of in shock/confused.

I started bawling and called Landon's mom. She told me she was heading over there to see what was going on. I don't know why I didn't head over there too, I guess I was just confused and Charlie had just woken up and needed to be taken care of. A few minutes later Jason called me and told me that Landon was fine, but that I should come over. At that point I REALLY lost it. Jason told me that the paramedics and police men were there, and I knew it was serious.

When we got there and I saw Landon limping towards me... I can't really explain how horrible that felt! We hugged and cried and then Landon held Charlie and he lost it... I know what was going through his mind... he could've left his baby boy without a dad... All the "what if's" are even bringing me to tears as I type this. It was a TERRIBLE day.

So here's what happened. Landon was stopped at a red light and there were two cars in front of him. A guy driving a minivan fell asleep at the wheel and slammed into Landon, going about 25-30mph. Landon went flying from his motorcycle, and the motorcycle continued to go forward and landed underneath a truck two cars in front of where he was. The minivan then struck the Prius that was in front of Landon and then the Prius struck the truck in front of it... So that's how much force Landon was hit with. Landon was laying in the middle of the road, but luckily flew far enough that he wasn't in the middle of the left lane, but in the median. He is lucky to be alive and was definitely being watched over. I really can't believe it happened.

We went to the Emergency Room and luckily they saw no broken ribs or bones, but he was covered in bruises, road rash, sprains and his entire left side was extremely sore and unusable--especially his wrist and ankle. It even hurt to breathe...

After a few weeks of no improvements he ended up seeing a different doctor, getting an MRI, and finding out he may need surgery for a broken bone in his wrist. They put a hard cast on it for a month, and luckily when the cast came off no surgery was needed. But, he still has pain every day with his wrist and ankle and they'll probably never be the same.

It was also really sad because for a few months it was really hard for Landon to hold Charlie, who was just a month old.

It's been such an ordeal trying to get the settlement to pay for all the medical bills and Landon's pain and suffering, but luckily my brother is a lawyer and has helped us SO much!

After going through all this, Landon came to the hard decision that it was time to sell his motorcycle... Even though he's extremely safe, we can't put his life in the hands of other drivers. Especially now that he's a dad.

I'm so proud of Landon for making that decision, and he made it for Charlie. He cried as his motorcycle drove away with its new owner. He's such an amazing dad, and I love him so much for it.

This was a picture I took earlier that day, right before his accident. I can't even type the words... I'm just so grateful that Landon was okay.

-On a happier note, Landon won an all expense paid 7-day Eastern Caribbean cruise on Royal Caribbean's Oasis of the Seas from his work! (Which is kind of funny because our last cruise from England was on the same boat. What are the chances?!)

When I say "won" it's really more like Landon earned it and it was awarded to him for all of his amazing work. He was nominated and chosen and only 15 employees from the entire company received it. I'm SOOOOOOO proud of him! He is such a hard worker and he does it all for our family.

But, I'm not going to lie, when he called me to tell me I got off the phone and lost it. (I promise, I really don't cry ALL the time haha!) But, how was I going to leave Charlie for 7 days?!?! It's in February, so Charlie will be 10 months. I am obviously extremely attached to my baby, because even leaving him for one day last month put me over the edge... plus I'm nursing! Anyway, we tried to see if we could make it work and bring Charlie, but it would have been $1,000, which is just insane... especially considering he wouldn't remember it, wouldn't care, and doesn't even eat the food. It's so dumb that the charge for babies!!!!

But at the end of the day, I knew that it would be an AMAZING opportunity to spend a week in paradise with my sweet Landon and I would regret not going. So, can you believe it?! I'm leaving Charlie for a week... okay, I can't really think about that part or I just get so sick... :(

But I really am excited to spend a week with Landon. And I'm getting scuba certified so that's going to be so fun to scuba in the Caribbean! And the other good news is that hopefully my parents will be coming! YAY!

-And the last bit of news... I am quitting my job at BambooHR at the beginning of February. Gosh, it's hard to type that. I LOVE my company and I LOVE who I work with and I really do love my job! But, Charlie is getting older and sleeping less and it's getting hard to work, even though I only work 20 hours and get to do it from home... It's a weird feeling knowing that I am walking away from working with no idea when I'll work again. I've always worked/gone to school, but of course my dream job has ALWAYS been to be a stay at home mom. I was hoping we could make my part time job work for as long as possible, but it's just getting hard. I have always struggled with anxiety and the stress I feel from trying to run our house and take care of Charlie and also find time to take care of me... it's just been a bit much.

So I'm sad to leave BambooHR behind, especially when they've done SO much for me, but I'm also extremely excited to get to be a full time mama! :)

Anyway, that's all! :)

Friday, November 25, 2016

Seven Years.

Happy Seventh Anniversary to the love of my life and my very best friend.

I remember crying as I wrote our anniversary post last year, knowing that it was our last anniversary just the two of us. I knew that having a baby would change everything, and it has.

Landon and I had so much time just the two of us. We adventured. We had lazy mornings hanging out in our bed. Every night was date night. And even though I've always dreamed of being a mom and couldn't wait for that day, part of me was sooooo scared of what becoming parents would do to our marriage. 

Well, now I'm crying again, but this time because my heart is just so full and so grateful. Watching Landon become a dad and watching him love Charlie... I just don't even have the words. It has been the most incredible experience. My love for Landon is deeper and more meaningful then ever before. 

Our marriage has always been important, the most important. But now it's not just about Landon and me. It's about our little family we've created. It's the most beautiful thing and I really can't find the right words to explain how happy my heart is.

Now every November 25th isn't just about Landon and me, but it is about our family. As soon as Charlie was born, our marriage did change, but for the better. 

The transition from just the two of us to the three of us has had some growing pains, as we navigated through becoming parents. But we've worked through them together and we are stronger because of it. We are definitely not perfect, and of course our marriage is not perfect. And even though we are not always on the same page, we are ALWAYS on the same team. And that is what marriage is all about.

Today we celebrated by watching our wedding video, going to a movie just the two of us (Dr. Strange), and then we picked our little mister up for some sushi. Tonight we're going to City Creek for Cheesecake Factory and Christmas lights at Temple Square. We feel so very blessed and so incredibly happy.

Landon Dean, thank you for choosing me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for being my best friend and making me laugh EVERY day with all of your puns. Thank you for accepting me for who I am and telling me I'm beautiful when I haven't washed my hair in four days. Thank you for being the best husband and best father. I love you SO much and I'm so grateful that you are mine! Happy Anniversary!

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Charlie Dean: 7 Months Old.

Charlie Dean is SEVEN months old!

He is seriously the sweetest, happiest little boy and we love him SO much. He is busy and loves to roll all over the floor, but isn't crawling yet. He really likes to be in on the action and doesn't really like it when people aren't paying attention to him. We think he's hilarious and his funny sounds and personality make us laugh every day.

He is a little love bug and has FINALLY started to get a little more cuddly. He also gives the BEST kisses!

He loves to hang out with Daddy and sit like this!

He sat with Landon like this for over ten minutes! We were amazed! It was sooo cute! 

He's also doing awesome at sitting up! He only topples over when he forgets that he actually has to balance himself, but he can sit for long periods of time.

I feel like I'll probably be saying this at every stage, but I feel like this age is the best! He is just SO much fun and so sweet and learning and changing so much every day. It's amazing to watch and I can't get enough of him!

I explained it like this to Landon... Charlie is my heart. It's like my heart is no longer in my body and it is now Charlie. I love him so much that I seriously worry that I will burst and it physically hurts to be away from him.

Those thighs though...

We love you so much, angel boy!

Six months was a big month for Charlie with a TON of firsts, so this is going to be a long update. :)

-On 10/19/16, Charlie had his first experience with a sippy cup and water. It was so cute because he LOVED it and wanted to hold it, but didn't quite understand. He still loves water and his sippy, but it's more like a toy for him haha.

-Charlie finally started giggling a bit more, but he still isn't much of a giggler. It's really the best sound in the whole world!!!

-We got a door jumper for Charlie (we call it the jumpa-jump) and he LOVES it. It's really nice to put him in it when I need to shower or get dinner done, especially since he rolls all over the place now.

-On 10/21/16, we went to the park for Charlie's first time. He rode down the slide with Daddy and went on a swing. He was a little indifferent about it all ha!

-On 10/22/16 we went to Cornbellies. Well, we just walked around and Charlie slept. I think he'll be a little more into it next year. :)

-Just after Charlie turned 6 months, he started to make "ma ma" sounds when he cries and gets really upset. It's soooooo cute and even if he doesn't realize he's saying "mama" it's still adorable!

-He had his six month check up and weighed 16 pounds, 10 ounces and was 26 inches tall. He was only in the 32% for weight and 27% for height, so despite all of his rolls he's not a "big" baby. We think he's absolutely perfect!!!! At the appointment, Charlie totally started SCREAMING when the doctor had him on the table to check him out... It was the first time we had seen Charlie get real stranger danger and we've seen it a few times since. Sweet boy! :(

-On the Friday before Halloween we went trick-or-treating at Landon's office. Everyone loved him in his cute turtle costume and we had so much fun showing Charlie off! :) Plus, we used him to get free candy. Thanks Charlie! Later that night we carved pumpkins.

This picture makes me laugh!

-On 10/29/16 Nana and Pops babysat Charlie while Landon and I went to a haunted house with my brother Joey and his wife Lorena. We had soooo much fun (seriously, Fear Factory was awesome) and Charlie had so much fun playing with Nana, Pops, Mary, Jolene, and Kit Kat.

-Charlie loves to talk and have conversations. I think he's going to be a very social boy! It's really his favorite thing!

-He also LOVES to watch the puppies play. It entertains him sooo much. Henry is also in LOVE with Charlie. He wants to lick him ALL day and sometimes Charlie will open his mouth wide and lean in for a Henry kiss... GROSS! haha!

-On Halloween we went trick-or-treating at Nana's work with Charlie's cousins. Again, thanks for the candy Charlie, ha! That night we ended up skipping trick-or-treating because we felt awkward going door to door with our baby who obviously can't eat candy... But we did visit Nini and Papa that night. I dressed up as a snorkeler and I saw the CUTEST sea turtle!! ;)

 He got a little sad during our photo shoot. Sweet boy! :(

-Landon sold his motorcycle and is selling his paramotor (sad day... but he just isn't feeling super safe about it now that he has Charlie to worry about). Anyway, his new hobby is kiteboarding! Charlie LOVES to watch Daddy practice flying the kite!

-On 11/3/16 Charlie had his first airplane ride! He did AMAZING! We were so nervous that his ears would hurt and he would scream the whole time or something... but he did awesome! We were planning on gate checking Charlie's carseat, but as we were boarding the plane they asked if we wanted to bring it on the plane. YAY! So Charlie nursed on take off and landing and then during the flight he basically slept in his carseat the whole time.

-We spent the next five days in Texas spending time with Landon's family and friends! Charlie LOVED spending time with Grandpa, Grandma, Dawsen, and MJ. Charlie really loved playing with Uncle Dawsen and he gave Grandpa so many snuggles!

We also got to see my best friend Jenna and her girls, The Leonhardi's, The Seward's, the Wallace's (and I didn't get a picture! I'm soooo mad), Theo and Patricia (I don't know their last name!), and Laura Aronson. We were constantly on the go, and Charlie was a trooper! He loved meeting everyone and did a great job at taking naps wherever we were.

-On November 11 I had an all day company work meeting and I literally made myself physically ill because I had to leave Charlie from 7:30-4:30 and then again that night for the company party from 5:30-9. I had so much anxiety leading up to the day and cried so much. I'm just so glad it's over. I love my company, but oh man, that was HARD. He had such a fun day with Nini and Papa and I'm so grateful that Nini sent me pictures all day. He is a very loved little boy!!!

Charlie gave me lots of snuggles that night. I think he missed me too! :)
-Charlie LOVES to go on shoulder rides with Daddy. These two really are so cute. It kills me! Charlie loves to lick/eat Landon's hair and ear.

-He also loves going on "airplane rides" with Daddy!

-On 11/16/16, Charlie got to see his first snow! He loved watching it fall down and the next morning we took him outside so he could see it and feel it (and maybe taste it.... woops!) He was a little indifferent, but later when I took him out again he was fascinated by it and I couldn't get him to look at the camera. It is the absolute BEST thing to watch Charlie experience things for the first time!

We had some snuggles after being outside in the cold for a minute :)

-I mentioned that Charlie isn't crawling yet, but he does roll all over. We call it playing "roly poly." He also does this thing where he "swims" when he's on his tummy. It's so funny! Landon is worried that Charlie is going to walk before he crawls (because he's so good at standing!) so sometimes we do "crawling practice" and it doesn't go very well... ha!

-Charlie is still a huge fan of food. He'll start screaming at you if you don't get the spoon into his mouth fast enough. He loves to eat puffs, but still can't quite figure out how to feed himself. He can pick the puff up, but he can't get it into his mouth (except for ONE time last night he actually got it in his mouth!) My friend Jenna gave us some of these longer puff things and he LOVED getting to feed himself with those!

-Charlie totally gets like slap happy at night and gets sooooo silly! He really cracks us up soooo much!

And here are some random pictures and videos that don't really have a story to go with them. :)

On October 19 Jason had his birthday and Charlie had his half birthday!

Being Charlie's mom is really the most amazing experience and better than I could have ever imagined. Every day Landon and I will say things like, can you believe he's ours?! Can you believe we have a son? Charlie is our dream come true and we are just sooooo incredibly happy and grateful that he is in our family! We love you sweet boy!

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