Monday, June 29, 2015

Just a Vague, Random Post.

I feel like blogging, but I don't really know what to say. There's actually a lot I want to say, but there's some stuff I can't really say publicly yet. Our life feels so up in the air right now, which is really hard for the type-A, planner in me. But like I said in my last post, I'm letting go of the worry and stress and trusting in Heavenly Father that everything is going to work out and be okay. We are really, really happy and we have been recipients of some huge blessings and miracles lately. It seems good things are happening all at once after months of not-so-good things. It's such a faith-building experience to see prayers answered and see Heavenly Father's hand in our lives.

I'm sorry for being so vague--but since this blog is public and not private, I can't go into more details. But once things are more settled, I promise I will blog alllllllll about our year. Because it's been an absolute crazy one. 2015 will forever be known as the year of the roller coaster.

Oh and tomorrow is my last day at my nanny job. So weird and so sad. I have been trying to explain to Enzo why I'm not going to be his nanny anymore (it's because he's starting preschool) so he told me he's just going to skip preschool. Oh my gosh. Soooo sad. I can't really handle it.

Basically life is cray-cray over here and there are SO many changes happening. I feel overwhelmed, stressed, but overall just extremely happy and so blessed. Life is good!

And really, is there anything cuter than puppies in a bucket? I don't think so!

Friday, June 12, 2015

Letting Go.

"Let it go, let it go. Can't hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go. Turn away and slam the door."

Yes, so cliche and so cheesy, but I've always loved this song. It applies to me in SO many areas of my life. But one thing I really need to let go of right now is MY plan and my pride.

It's hard to just turn your life into the hands of Heavenly Father and I've been fighting it for so long... but I know I need to. I know I need to stop "fighting" with Him and just give myself up. How prideful for me to think that my plan is better? That I know better? That I know what's best for me? I can mope and whine and cry and plead all day long... but in the end, it doesn't do any good does it? It doesn't change the fact that MY plan isn't going to happen. It's never MY plan. It's always HIS plan. And I know this, but for some reason I have the hardest time accepting it. I have been begging him to answer my prayers. I have been praying for a miracle. And last week I was done. I didn't want to pray anymore. I was so upset that nothing seemed to be happening.

Later that day, something amazing happened. I guess you could call it a small miracle. It was something we've been praying for for MONTHS (more on that later, no I'm not pregnant!) I felt like such a spoiled brat. I've been praying and pleading and begging and then felt so angry that I hadn't received MY answer in MY timeframe that I wanted. So I didn't pray. Me me me me me. PRIDE.

So when my prayer was finally answered I felt so guilty for being angry and not praying earlier that morning. I immediately turned to prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for answering our prayers and apologized again and again for being such a brat. Did I feel like He was upset with me? Not at all. Because He knows me. And He knows my heart. He knows how much I love Him. He knows my intentions and my desires. He knows my struggles. He knows my fears. He knows my hopes. And I think that was His way of showing me that He IS listening and he DOES care. I can't just give up on him like that, especially when I need Him the most.

So keep praying for miracles. Keep praying through your trials. Even though somedays you might feel like He's not listening, He is. Let go of your plans and turn your life over to Him. He knows what's best and His plan for our life is far better than what we could even imagine. It's all going to be okay. Life is good.

P.S. If you feel like I've blogged about this very thing before, you are right. I have the hardest time giving up my plans and it is something I am constantly reminding myself of! :)

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The Big 2-6.

What the heck? I swear I'm still a teenager. I can't believe I'm actually 26! AHHH! Does this mean I'm no longer in my early twenties? Haha I am in denial.

I had the BEST birthday. It was so simple, but perfect. Landon spoiled me and didn't stop telling me happy birthday all weekend long. He kept asking me if I felt special because he wanted to make sure I did. Pretty much anything I wanted to do, we did it...which of course mostly involved eating yummy food! ;)

We seriously ate SO good (or should I say bad?!) all weekend. Birthdays are actually meant to be celebrated all week, in case you didn't know. We ate out at Red Robin twice, Chipotle, got DQ blizzards, ate Tillamook Mudslide ice-cream, and ate a dozen donuts within two days. YUM!

On Saturday after going to dinner Landon asked if I wanted my birthday present early, and of course I couldn't resist. We got home and he went to the garage and walked back into the house holding a Victoria's Secret bag. In my head I was thinking, okay... so he got me lingerie?! Isn't that more like a Valentine's Day type thing? Haha! Turns out, it was just the gift wrap he used because he didn't know where I keep the birthday bags. I honestly wasn't expecting anything because our trip to England was supposed to be our Christmas AND birthday present, so I was really surprised that he even got me anything. He's just so sweet! I was expecting something little, like maybe a cute shirt or something. So when I opened it, I was seriously in SHOCK!

I have been asking for a GoPro for years! Seriously! Every time we go sailing on the Hobie, I tell Landon how we need to get a GoPro so we can make videos and take pictures! I am SO excited!!!!!

On my actual birthday (Monday) I had the day off work, which meant I got to sleep in and have a lazy morning with Landon. I call these types of mornings "bed mornings." Basically you wake up and you just stay in bed for an hour or longer. You eat breakfast in bed, you watch a movie, and you cuddle. They're seriously my favorite thing in the whole world!

Landon had to go into work for a little bit, so I got ready for the day and then cuddled on the couch watching a chick flick with my pups.

Luckily he didn't stay for long, because I started to feel lonely (I hate being alone!) He came home for lunch and we had a party pizza and mac and cheese. We used to eat this SO much before I started eating healthy, and I figured that since I'd already eaten half a dozen donuts and my weight in ice cream, I might as well continue with the eating like crap trend ;)

Then something really exciting happened... we finally did the resin infusion on the float half that Landon has been working on for MONTHS. I know most of you won't know what that means, but basically it was a HUGE step for building the boat. It was fun to watch it all happen and help Landon do it :)

After that excitement, we went to Red Robin and then came home to snuggle on the couch and hang out with our boys. We also messed around with my GoPro... I'm obsessed!!! It's so much fun!

I seriously started crying quite a few times throughout the day...happy tears of course! I had SOOOO many meaningful texts, phone calls, emails, Facebook shoutouts, etc. that just made me feel so special and loved. THANK YOU!!!!! 

I think I'm going to like being 26. I'm like a real-life adult now ;)

P.S. I share a birthday with my daddy. He always tells me I was his best birthday present. I love this picture of us 22 years ago :)

Friday, May 29, 2015

The Wind is Changing.

Over three years ago I was hating my life and working in an office. Then by some miracle, I became a nanny for the Magyars. I call it a miracle, because it really was. They call me their Mary Poppins. But the thing about Mary Poppins is, she leaves. When the wind changes and she's no longer needed, she leaves. I always felt so bad for the kiddos when I watched the movie, but now I know how Mary Poppins must feel when she has to say goodbye to a family she has come to love so much. It's really hard you guys.

image via
The whole looking for a new nanny position thing has basically broken my heart. I couldn't stand the thought of working for another family and watching new kids because I love THESE kids and THIS job.

At first I told Landon that I didn't even want to be nanny anymore. That's how much it hurt to leave the Magyars. I just didn't even want to find another family because there was no way I could love the kiddos as much. I told him I was just going to work in an office. He reminded me I would be miserable and hate my life. Being a nanny is what I love to do, so I should do it.

So for over a month, I've had at least 5 interviews a week. I've had over 20 phone interviews and 7 in-person interviews, not to mention the hundreds of messages I've received and sent. It has taken over my life!!!! And I've been SO picky about who I even interview with. Before I interviewed with people, I tried to make sure we were on the same page with salary/schedule/expectations/etc. and then once we talked on the phone I decided if it was worth it to move forward and meet the family. I've been upfront and honest and turning people down left and right. It almost felt more like I was interviewing families instead of them interviewing me. I didn't want to just accept any job, I wanted to make sure I found the right fit. And boy, was I picky!

I had a few families that I absolutely fell in love with. But one family really stood out to me. I met the mom at a coffee shop after emailing back and forth and talking on the phone and I instantly just LOVED her. She was so easy to talk to, so sweet, and we just laughed and chatted so naturally. I knew we could be great friends! So when I got an offer from her on Monday, I was GIDDY! It wasn't my first offer (I turned down six others!), but it was definitely the best one and with an amazing family.

They have already made me feel SO valued and I know that I'm just going to fit right in with their family. That's exactly what I was looking for and I'm so relieved I found it! The funny thing is, I haven't even met the husband or the kiddos yet! Ha! They are moving to Portland from Denver, so I will meet them in a few weeks... but I've seen pictures and videos and trust me, they are CUTE! There are two boys that are six and four and then a little girl who is two. Two year olds are kind of my favorite. They're just so much fun and apparently she thinks she's a princess so we are going to get along great :)

Even though I am literally depressed thinking about leaving my Gabby and my Enzo, I am looking forward to being Mary Poppins to another family. The wind is changing, which is hard but it's also exciting.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Yale Lake Camping Trip.

Can every weekend be a long weekend? Seriously. Whoever decided 2 days of weekend is long enough is crazy. CRAZY.

After our last camping trip with the Hobie, we knew we had found a new love. Combining two of our favorite things = MAGIC. So we found a lake that was a little closer to home and made reservations a month in advance. Thank goodness, because it seems like everyone else had the same idea ;)

Our campsite was AMAZING. Seriously. We were on the first "row" so we could see the water and we had tons of privacy because of all the trees and bushes. I'm obsessed with it and next time we stay here we will be staying at A38 again. Definitely.

The beach was MUCH better than our last trip for beaching the Hobie. It was rocky, but the water levels were high enough so we didn't have to hike a mile out to our boat like last time ;)

can you spot Landon?
The campsite had a boat ramp too, which was SUPER convenient. So we got to the campsite Saturday afternoon, set up camp and then rigged the Hobie and sailed her over to her beach. Well, Landon sailed it while I drove the trailer back to our campsite. Well, I attempted to drive the trailer back to our campsite but hit a tree and broke our trailer (don't worry, Landon fixed it. Have I mentioned how I'm Wreck it Ralph and he's Fix it Felix? It's true.)

We were pretty tired after all that, so we went on a walk, built a fire and had dinner, and then basically called it a night. It was actually pretty cold too, so we were anxious to get into our cozy sleeping bags! (P.S. Puppies make great heaters!)

On Sunday we woke up early (thank you children and birds...), had breakfast, and then set out for an early morning sail. It was chilly, but we had our wetsuits on so we actually stayed pretty warm. My sunglasses got knocked off my face within 5 minutes by the darn ropes, but luckily it was overcast all day so I didn't have to squint too much. Normally I would have been praying for blue skies, but I was grateful for the cloud cover! :)

We sailed upwind across the lake and had to tack every few minutes because of the wind direction. It was really good practice and I feel like we really got into a groove. I LOVE how fast the Hobie sails and how relaxing it is to be out on the water with my love. We left the boys at our campsite for a few reasons. 1. I worry that we would capsize and how freezing they would be in the water 2. It's kind of hard to sail the boat when you are holding two puppies. But of course the whole time I missed them and wondered how they were doing. Haha, I know I'm crazy. But they're my children.

We sailed the entire lake and made it pretty dam close to the dam. See what I did there? Haha I just love dam jokes. So much. Landon was getting pretty dam sick of my dam jokes by the end of the day. HAHA! I'm so funny ;)

After our little adventure (it took us 3.5 hours to sail to the end of the lake and back! The lake is about 9 miles long, so we covered about 18 miles!) we decided to relax. We ate lunch and then Landon took a little nap while I read my book. (P.S. Go read "The Selection" series. Like right now. SOOOO cheesy, but gosh I'm obsessed)

Have you seen anything sweeter?! I could cuddle with my boys ALL day!!!

After relaxing a bit, Landon went out for a sail by himself. He likes to practice single-handing the boat and I like to watch so I can take pictures/video :) The wind was pretty strong at this point and he was just zooming across the lake.

I looked down to help Henry, who somehow got his leash stuck under a rock, and then I looked up and saw this.

I immediately started bawling and basically went into complete panic mode. I felt so helpless and had NO idea what to do. If you read about the last time we capsized here, you'd understand why I was freaking out so bad. Landon and I basically don't weigh enough to get the Hobie un-capsized. So last time the fire department came out to help us... it was a rough day. So you can imagine why I was hysterical about Landon being out there by himself... I saw a boat go over to him and then leave, so I figured he must have told them he was fine.

Luckily, he's a smart boy and after we capsized the boat last time we installed some new things on our boat to help us for next time. Catamaran sailboats are known to capsize--it's a very common thing. So it's not a good thing if we can't right the boat by ourselves! So we got a "mast float" which does exactly what it says... you put it on the top of your mast and then your mast will stay floating instead of having your boat flip completely upside-down or get stuck in the mud (like ours did last time). The second thing he did was build a righting pole. Basically you use the pole to climb WAY out so you can get more leverage to right the boat.

The pole is that black thing on the front of our boat with two gray squares on either side.
Good news you guys... IT WORKED!! I was SCREAMING when I finally saw him get the boat upright. I can't even tell you how relieved I was. I was just about to walk over to the dock and ask someone if they could bring me out there to help him and as I was walking away I saw it LIFTING. Thank heavens! I was so proud of Landon!

I got the whole thing on video, but it's kind of hard to hear with the wind...

Anyway, Landon was in great spirits when he got back to the beach. He wasn't even cold, because luckily he decided to wear his wetsuit even though it wasn't nearly as cold as it was that morning. He was also SO happy to see that our mast float and righting pole WORKED. We've been wanting to capsize the boat on purpose to test them, but we didn't want it to capsize when he was by himself! But now we don't need to worry about capsizing at all. YAY!

So we got back to camp, went on a little walk, made a fire, had some dinner, and played games.

Landon made the most PERFECT teepee fire. He didn't camp a lot growing up, so he's really trying to perfect the whole building a fire thing. He's doing great :)
And seriously, he couldn't be any cuter....

I don't know why, but I always take a picture of my s'mores haha :)
 I LOVE my sweet boys!

Being outside enjoying quality time with my little family... it just doesn't get any better!

We woke up Monday morning, had breakfast, and went for another walk. It's so fun to watch our boys explore :) They LOVE camping. Then we went for a little sail before bringing our boat in and de-rigging her and then taking down camp.

We really had the BEST weekend. It was so nice to have TWO nights at the campsite because we weren't rushed at all. We were able to sail but we also had a lot of downtime to hang out, read, nap, and go on walks. It was perfect. Now we are excited to go back to Yale Lake in the summer when it's actually warm ;)

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Sweetest.

Lately Landon has been extra sweet to me. I mean, he's always been sweet, but he has REALLY stepped up his game lately. 

Like when we were out to eat at Chipotle on Friday (p.s. we're obsessed) and afterwards I said, "maybe we can go to Gap!" and immediately he said, "Yeah, let's do that! That would be fun!" You guys, he hates shopping. But he loves seeing me happy and knows I love Gap. He then told me to get whatever I wanted. I chose two darling shirts that were on sale. He makes me feel so special and so loved. I can't really handle it. 

Or when he tells me I'm as beautiful as a princess. He knows how much I want to be a princess :)

Or this morning when I was rushing to get out the door (I literally roll out of bed and leave the house around 6 am) I saw that I accidentally woke Landon up. So I ran over to kiss him and he lifts the blanket (my cue to jump in and cuddle!) I just could lay there cuddling ALL day. Seriously. It really made my WHOLE day and made me cry happy tears. 

Or when I'm having a rough day and he lets me be all cray-cray and then just holds me and helps me to see that everything is going to be okay. 

I just can't really get over how GOOD he is to me. Sometimes I wonder how on earth I got so lucky to have someone that loves me so deeply. He is so good to me and I try every day to be just as good to him. I think he's winning.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Life Lately.

So I was looking through pictures and realized there are a few things I've neglected to mention on this little blog. So we're going to play catch up today k?

  • Trip to Seattle.

About a month ago we drove three hours to Seattle to watch a sailboat race. We went specifically to watch the Hobie Cat races, because Landon really wants us to start racing ours, but due to traffic and stopping at Ivar's for lunch beforehand, we missed the Hobies' race. Kind of lame. But we still got to see some of the other boats which was fun. And then a huge storm blew in and the wind was crazy so they had to stop early, but oh well. We walked along the gorgeous Puget Sound and got SOAKED. And then went to Costa Vida for dinner and then Sub Zero for dessert before driving back home. I seriously just went for the food ;)

  • Making cookies.

So I have a problem. I LOVE cookie dough. And I know eating raw eggs is bad. I've even gotten pretty darn sick from eating cookie dough before. But I just.can't.stop. Plus my mother-in-law gave me the best cookie recipe in the world. I think I might share it on my other blog... you know the one that's supposed to be about fitness? Ha! That's my kind of fitness plan... the one that tells you to eat cookies! I love food way too much to "diet."

  • New lego set.

For the past few years, on almost every holiday, I have printed out a little coupon or told Landon that he can pick out a Lego set. He LOVES Legos, and I love that he loves Legos. He's such a little boy and it's adorable! But, he has decided to wait until he saw a Lego set he absolutely LOVED before cashing in his coupons. A few weeks ago we went to the Lego store and he had his eye on a few different sets but told me to pick it out for him. I thought that was cute, because now it feels more like "our" Lego set :) I chose The Tower Bridge, because A) it is beautiful and a really cool set and B) we went there last October and have our picture right in front of it! England means a lot to me, so this Lego is pretty much the coolest one I've ever seen. Landon finished building it in like 2 days, which is insane. We're obsessed with it!

See, see! I've been there!
  • Blazers game.
A few weeks ago we had the chance to go to a Blazers game with Landon's work. It was SO much fun! I've always loved basketball and LOVE going to live-games, so I was pretty excited. Landon likes basketball too, but we just don't ever watch sports. He's just not very into it. But, we both had a blast and felt like real Portlanders because we finally attended a sporting event. For some reason they call it "Rip City" (I googled it and still can't quite figure it out) and they gave us t-shirts and these glow sticks because it was a play-off game. Before it started they turned off all the lights and we all turned on our glow sticks. It was SO neat. We lost the game, but it was still really fun to cheer for a team that before that night I literally knew nothing about :)

  • Working on the boat.
Landon is still building the F39 Trimaran in our backyard! He is almost done with 1/2 of one of the floats. The trimaran has three parts, the main hull and then two floats out on the side to stabilize it (since it doesn't have a keel like a normal sailboat). He seriously amazes me and I'm so excited for this boat to be done in 10 years so we can sail it around the world :)

image via

  • Still on the job hunt.
I am still looking for a nanny job. It's kind of hard because I need to find a job that has a good schedule, has good pay, and a job where I feel that "click" and feel comfortable with the family. Being a nanny is a pretty intimate position because you are in someone's home all day. It's really important for me to find a good "fit." I've had about 15 interviews and there have been some real potentials, but so far I haven't made a decision yet. I have a good feeling about a few of them, so we'll see :) I'm excited to be DONE looking because it pretty much takes up all of my time at the moment. And I hate interviewing. It's just not fun :)

  • Mother's Day
I love my mom and I love my mother-in-law. SO much. But for some reason, I just didn't feel like posting a tribute on Mother's Day. Maybe Landon is rubbing off on me, but these "made up" holidays are starting to get to me. I would much rather send my mom a card of love and appreciation randomly, not just because it's a holiday. It feels forced--kind of like Valentine's Day. And then on top of that, I feel like everyone was posting pictures of themselves. Like they are so grateful to be a mom. And I get that, because it really is such a blessing to have children, but I don't feel like that's the point of the day. The point is to honor your mother, or if you are the husband you can honor the mother of your children. But it's not a day to honor yourself. Maybe I'm coming across as mean and bitter, but that's just how I feel (maybe it has something to do with the fact that I want to be a mother more than anything in the whole world and all of those pictures just seemed like a slap in the face). Anyway, I was SO ready for that day to be over. Instagram and Facebook was blown up with "Mother's Day" stuff, so I posted this picture with a somewhat sassy caption :) The story behind it? Well, Landon and I bought some magnesium so we can start a fire in the wilderness if there's an emergency or zombie apocalypse or whatever. Haha! ;) I just think it's so funny that he was starting a fire in our house. With toilet paper by the way. So that's how my Mother's Day went :)

  • My boys.

Gosh, I love my little family. For those of you who don't own/love dogs, you may not understand this, but my puppies are really like my children. I love them SO much! When we were in Texas their Nini (Landon's mom) bought them new shirts and my favorites are these cute spiderman t-shirts. They just look like little boys! It kills me. She also bought Landon a spiderman t-shirt and they are all matchy-matchy. It's my favorite. I just love them all so much!

Okay that's pretty much all I've got for now. Life is good :)

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